Montycosmos racer
FARKS AND SCHNACKLES
another pet peeve of mine is mfrs manuals. my 1961 suzuki came with 'hints and tips on riding the motorcycle'. it contained such usefull info as, 'beware of the mud-puddle for there-in lurks the skid-demon'. also, 'if a horseman hove into view toot melodiously upon the horn'. if he does not heed, shout with loud voice 'hi'. if he still does not heed, dismount and smoke a cigaret till he passes. my cosmos wings manuals all came with 'take great care to secure all farks and schnackles', also it claimed 'no more than 8mins are required to assemble the wing, it takes me that long to decide which bag zipper to pull on! maybe french mins are, like dog years, 7 to 1?? my northwing glosses over how to fold the wing for transport/storage but does have nice color pictures of kamron doing stuff in seconds that takes me all morning. my hurth engine manual suggests running the first 10hrs on the ground, then, at major sevice change crankshaft, and all other components. sound advice. my $7 alarm clock came with a comprehensive booklet, in 7 languages with the first 9 pages warning of the legal and safety hazards of licking any electrical components while plugged in, or during an electrical storm. i thought everyone knew not to lick ANYTHING during an electrical storm! well, almost everything. my multi $ frig's manual promised me the light will go out when i close the door. how can i be sure!! why can't 'they' get it right! ........freazier ballsoff (my new psuedonim)............ ps. i can't die yet there's still a few people i haven't pissed off...........pps. universal means it won't fit ANYTHING.
Comments
Laughing my arse off monty. And i really enjoyed that one about cant die yet still have people to piss off. Lol. Now thats what i call a very healthy attitude!
Ok heres my new old fart pieve! Ive been learning to meditate to reduce that dreaded stress but i absolutly swear there putting something different in plastic zip lock bags . I just cant lately get the dam things open so i lose my temper and punch my finger through them!
hey white eagle, try opening the ZIPPER side!, first, then put your finger through them.
Zip locks have a zipper side. What will they think of next. I hate this new technology.
Heh heh! Monty, my new pressure cooker comes with instructions. It tells me to "Put the lid between the body and the ears, make the lid and the body fit closely." In fact the whole document reads like the Karma Sutra with an appliance fetish. As for the fridge light, I thought that was easy: climb in, close the door. If you can't find your way out, the light goes out as promised!
Omg iam lovin this. Any more.
hey tussock, i tried that but left big footprints in the butter! that description of your pressure cooker got me ,quite horny! i'm not gonna tell ya what my 'double slotted toaster' came with! and those 'rotating clothes drier drums'. phew! especially the ones with the glass doors! (i have to rest for a while, this is getting WAY too eggciting!) theres too many of us 'appliance preverts out there already!................... !..............................................................freazier ballzoff.
Monty my oh my i really think you need to go flying.and i thought i had big problems with zip locks.
Another exciting episode of monty pie stone!
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- Ken@knussear
MontyKen liked this
white eagle, i'm gonna commit aviation sat morning, i'll be all cured by 9am....................freazier ballzoff
Monty, those footprints in the butter might not be yours. What else leaves footprints in the butter? Yes, you got it, you may have an elephant in your fridge. Check the custard and see if it's lumpy - there could be an elephant hiding there. Look in the milk - milk is a favorite lurking place for elephants (a sure sign is elephant jandals floating on top). Another sign - was there an unfamiliar mini parked in front of the fridge?
I havnt had this much fun scince monty python? Its just a mear fleshwoond cum bak an fieegt lik a man u chicken. Monty ol chap ,pick up your sword address that elephant , spare no mayo ,ketchup hold the mustard dear boy!! We need the proof that trike pilots are excentric!!
hey white eagle my favorite python is the 'holy hand grenade of antioch. thou shalt not pull the pin at the count of two, nor shall thou pull it at the count of four. three shall be the count.............etc