Montycosmos racer

History

FARKS AND SCHNACKLES: Revision

Last updated by Monty

Categories: Humor

another pet peeve of mine is mfrs manuals. my 1961 suzuki came with 'hints and tips on riding the motorcycle'. it contained such usefull info as, 'beware of the mud-puddle for there-in lurks the skid-demon'. also, 'if a horseman hove into view toot melodiously upon the horn'. if he does not heed, shout with loud voice 'hi'. if he still does not heed, dismount and smoke a cigaret till he passes. my cosmos  wings manuals all came with 'take great care to secure all farks and schnackles', also it claimed 'no more than 8mins are required to assemble the wing, it takes me that long to decide which bag zipper to pull on!  maybe french mins are, like dog years, 7 to 1?? my northwing glosses over how to fold the wing for transport/storage but does have nice color pictures of kamron doing stuff in seconds that takes me all morning. my hurth engine manual suggests running the first 10hrs on the ground, then, at major sevice change crankshaft, and all other components. sound advice. my $7 alarm clock came with a comprehensive booklet, in 7 languages with the first 9 pages warning of the legal and safety hazards of licking any electrical components while plugged in, or during an electrical storm. i thought everyone knew not to lick ANYTHING during an electrical storm! well, almost everything. my multi $ frig's manual  promised me the light will go out when i close the door. how can  i be sure!! why can't 'they' get it right! ........freazier ballsoff (my new psuedonim)............  ps. i can't die yet there's still a few people i haven't pissed off...........pps. universal means it won't fit ANYTHING.